Restaurants

Gio, 3-7 Lower Mosley Street, Manchester

1

For just over three years now I have been walking past Gio Italian restaurant on almost a daily basis (certainly twice every weekday) and I am continually amazed at how busy the place is between the hours of 6pm and 7pm, even on a damp, dull Tuesday evening the place is rammed. But one thing I have noticed, even more than how busy it is, is the age of the clientele. It seems OAP’s are the main goer’s to this restaurant and not just the odd one or two, hoards of the old dears are in there nightly, as soon as the place is open. Every night I have walked passed and glared into the restaurant to see how many old people are in there, I even started developing a new phobia, which is across between Enochlophobia and Gerontophobia (Enorcontophobia I’m going with).

My new phobia got me thinking, the senior members of society, with all their wisdom and life experience (God knows how many meals they have consumed in their lifetime) will not fork out on food that isn’t edible or value for money, maybe they are on to something? Is this place the best kept secret from the younger members of Manchester? I decided to investigate.

We arrived at 5.30pm on the dot and I couldn’t believe it, a snake of old couples were queuing out of the door, waiting for a table, I must have been onto a winner with this establishment. The waiter ushered us to our table through a posse of old gents, into the middle of the restaurant, which is extremely tight for chair space, so high is the demand they are trying to fit everyone in at once. I sat down and glanced round, I must have been the youngest person in there by 40 years? The place had a really good atmosphere, typical lively Italian restaurant, nice and pleasant and the staff were already bustling round us making sure everything was ok (I’m skipping ahead here, but the entire staff were top notch all night, credit goes to every one of them), still scanning round the place, I noticed the specials board, the bottom item read “Rainbow Trout”, I was convinced that I had found a hidden gem.

My quick fire opinion about this place was a little premature, I decided to go with the selection of meats to start with, then asked for the Rainbow Trout for my main. “I’m sorry sir we haven’t got any trout in, our mistake, I’m very sorry”, I was heartbroken, but it seems I’ve got a litte bit of life experience too, I always pick a backup option just in case, I opted for the Sea Bass, with a side of veg.

The selection of cured meats was very nice indeed and the salad that accompanied it was nice and fresh, but some of the meat (mainly the ham) tasted as if it had just come out of a packet of 50 slices that you can get at Tesco’s, which sadly took a little bit of quality out of the dish. My trout replacement came, nice size, extremely well cooked, perfectly flaky all the way through and cooked in just the right amount of butter and seasoning. But the main was let down by the side dish, which again felt like it had been bought in a packet from a supermarket and steamed in a microwave.

I think I have worked out why this place is so popular with the older generation, all the meat based parts of our meals were expertly cooked and the menu is the size of a phone book, you cannot help but find something you will like. The side dishes are your run of the mill, standard no frills food, steamed veg, boiled potatoes, etc, which old folk will lap up because they know what they are getting and the price is reasonable for what you get.

Would I go to Gio again, I’m not too sure? I had a very very good meal there, but I like my side dishes/accompanying food to add and improve the main part of the meal, not just because it is inoffensive. Shame really, if Gio were a little more adventurous they could be an excellent Italian restaurant, not just another one like all the rest, but with what can only be described as a “small country of elder states people” turning up each evening, what the hell do I know?

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

Olive Press, Lloyd Street, Manchester

2

If anyone’s Friday evening is anything like mine, then it usually begins by leaving work at 4.59 (Don’t tell my boss), and heading straight to one of the many local watering holes, this Friday wasn’t any different. After meeting a few friends and more than a few pints, we decided to find and eatery, to try and stop the stomach monster grumbling.

I have never eaten at the Olive Press and thought the menu looked expensive for over hyped pub grub (Strange seeing I thought it was an Italian restaurant), is it me or is it the trend at the moment to give these traditional meals a twist or fancy name, but they are still the same micro waved tripe that Weatherspoons serves for quarter of the price. In this case I hold my hands up and can contently say I’m glad to be wrong.

The place was very lively, which added to the experience, and the place is nicely kept and coolly decked out, although you are herded to your tables and squeezed in which is a bit off putting. The main thing for me though was you can see all the chefs working away and cooking the food for your hard earned cash, instead of waiting to hear a “ping”, the fact I couldn’t decide what to have is also a good sign.

Being a northern lad and loving my savouries, I will never be able to look at a pork pie in the face again. To start with I ordered the potted pork which came in one of the jars that your Gran used to store jam in, along with some perfectly toasted bread. To be honest I was slightly confused at what I was looking at and when I opened the jar and tried to taste it I couldn’t believe how much pork they had compressed into it. It was like trying to prize open a bookies safe with a tooth pick. Having fought with this jar using a fork for a few minutes, with my friends and other restaurant goers looking at me wondering what I was doing, I managed to get a fork full and spread it on the gorgeous looking piece of bread and stuffed into my mouth. It tasted like the inside of a pork pie but I can honestly say it is the best piece of porky stodge I have ever tasted, I will never be able to eat a pork pie again, and this small jar seemed bottomless, what a starter.

Feeling extremely content and couldn’t believe what I had just eaten, this massive steaky looking piece halibut landed in front of me, on a bed of beans, bacon and ham, my doubts about the Olive Press completely disappeared. The fish was so thick and flaky you didn’t need a knife to cut into it and it melted in the mouth. Maybe the fact I had consumed a few beers helped the taste but I don’t want to think that, an amazing meal and hats off to the Olive Press.

The surprises didn’t stop there, because we had sat down to eat whilst a World Cup game was on we got 30% knocked off the total bill, which took the expensiveness of the meal out of the equation. This was one of the best meals I have had in a long time.

Well down Olive Press keep up the good work.

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

Pizza Express, Peter Street

0

Garlic bread with mozzarella £3.20, sloppy Giuseppe £8.60, chocolate fudge cake £4.65

Calamari al forno £4.95, Siciliana £8.60, toffee fudge glory gelato £4.80

In a desperate bid to escape eating Mrs Tum’s kipper quiche leftovers for the fourth time this week I surprised her with a romantic dinner for two at Pizza Express (the spontaneity of the gesture having nothing to do with the 2-for-1 voucher burning a hole in my wallet).  Despite the best part of the restaurant being completely empty we were hustled into a corner about 8-ft square along with six or so other couples.

I managed to find my old favourite on the new menu of garlic bread with mozzarella which was perfectly tasty although slightly stingy with the mozzarella.  Had I wanted so much plain dough I would have ordered the dough-balls.  Mrs Tum, revelling in her first night out in a long, long time, plumped for the calamari al forno.  She was less than impressed with the offering of three squid rings cut into halves and served in soggy breadcrumbs on a slate plate which looked like a fallen roof tile!

For the main course my Sloppy Giuseppe and Mrs Tum’s Siciliana pizzas were served by a friendly waiter.  My dish was spicy and loaded with meat and cheese and Mrs Tum’s was smothered in toppings and steaming hot.  I was ambitiously hoping for a moriatum on complaints about Mrs Tum’s first course only to become instantly aghast at the sight of flies buzzing round Mrs Tum’s lacquered hair and finely-pressed Chanel suit.  Needless to say Mrs Tum’s fly-swatting, flailing arms suggested severe annoyance and all hopes of an unprecedented, energetic finale to the evening were slowly fading before my eyes.  Admitting defeat, I consoled myself with a chocolate fudge cake.  Predictably, it was stunningly average . . .

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

Southern Eleven, Arndale Food Court, Manchester

12

Barbecue Beef Brisket Sampler (with fries + cornbread) £5.79

Always wanting to try new and exciting foodie experiences, and desperately hoping they’re any good, I found myself at this new Southern American-themed fast food diner-knockoff type thing.  With gingham.  The peeps at Southern Eleven love gingham.  To paraphrase Bill Hicks: ‘I don’t even know what gingham is, but they go through about ten rolls a week of that stuff . . .’

Now, bless them for trying a new thing.  Kudos for that.  There are no burgers for example.  There are beef sandwiches with fries, but no burgers.   My beef brisket was quite tender and moist and the “Classic” barbeque sauce I opted for was sweet and inoffensive.  Perhaps I should’ve been more experimental and gone for a spicier saucy option.  But given that this was my first visit I thought I’d let the staff member choose my sauce.  NB, there was an opening 25% discount.  And with hindsight I noticed that for some reason this discount was applied twice to the total from two meals.  25% per diner?  Surely not.  Good business sense this does not make.

Apparently their ovens are shipped over from Armorikar, because no one over here knows how to make an oven that takes 18 hours to cook something and make it taste like something you’d perhaps beaten with a hammer and then char-broiled, dolloped in sauce and dinged in a microwave.  Put it this way: at one point I noticed a huge bite-size gap in the papery gingham that our food was served upon, meaning that I had at some point consumed said papery gingham without noticing.  Whether this speaks as testament to my taste-buds finally handing in their notice after years of mistreatment at my hands, or if it points to a new but pretty standard fast food emporium’s inability to rise above the mediocrity of its peers in a sterile and bland food court environment is up to you to decide.

Go on, give them a run for their money.  It’s got to be better than just giving in and grabbing that same old McDonalds to sate your hangover munchies.  (It really isn’t much better though.)

Oh, and in case, like me, you were wondering what cornbread is: it’s a muffin.  Served quite literally on top of your fries and barbeque sauce.  Does that tickler your fancy?  Does it??

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: -3 (from 21 votes)

Baguette Express, Mosley Street

0

Meal: Sweet Chilli Success Pannini (Chineese sweet chill chicken with salad) + Crisps + Drink

Being the other half of Gavlar’s 2 dine for £4.99 offer I went along with the adventure to Baguetter Express.

After my first look at the menu and the crazy number of possible combinations I was pleased to see an “Express Menu”, a set number of combinations all given a simple name! With option to have any combo on a jacket, baguette or paninni.

I went for the Sweet Chilli Success on a toasted pannini which turned out to be quite good. Chopped pieces of chicken in plenty of chinese style sauce, with abit of lettuce and carrot. I quite enjoyed it but don’t think will be the best combination available so will definitely go back to try out something else. If we can have as many extra salad bits as possible all included in the cost then this will be great!

For £2.50 (£3 with no voucher) for the meal deal this is a bargain!

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)

Grand Buffet, 48/50 Withworth Street, Manchester

1

Curry buffet – All You Can Eat/Eat All You Can for £8, includes refillable soft drink.

Curry, unlike say, Chinese food (or a platter of chicken drumsticks) does not lend itself well to the whole Scoff What You Can buffet deal.  Reason being you reach your curry-consumption limit by filling up an awful lot quicker than you do when topping off your duck pancakes with rice + noodles + more rice + more noodles all smothered with miscellaneous meats and sauces.  Which is odd, because they’re very similar dishes in theory.  Meat, sauce, rice.  Maybe it’s the spiciness of curry that brings you to a halt faster.

I found myself deep into my third plate of curry buffet when, embarrassingly, my body came to a complete stop and I was no longer able to feed.  The curry sweats intensified as I briefly considered the possibility of me suffering a minor stroke there and then.  Eventually I realised I was undergoing the curious condition of being “full”, whilst still having food on my plate.  My “raised-in-the-80s” instincts kicked in as I thought of all the starving children in Africa and I anxiously endeavoured to at least finish all the meat remaining on my plate, but to no avail.

The food itself was actually good quality for a buffet, freshly made, loads of choice, all the old favourites: tasty chicken tikka massala, potent madras, beef and lamb dishes, veggie options, rices, naans, for some reason onion rings, poppadum-preaches, the works.  Also included was the option to run along the drinks machine topping your beverage up with ginger ale, irn bru, coke, sprite and everything else into one eye-watering glass of George’s Marvellous Medicine.

The kicker, however, was the price.  £8 is far too much for what it is – you can get a nice meal for that in city centre.  Maybe Grand Buffet works best as a one-off treat when there’s a few of you wanting a spicy curry fix, or maybe if you’re in the middle of an all day session and need sustenance quick; and with a sort of out-of-the-way cafe ambience, it suffices but doesn’t impress.

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

No.1 Oriental Buffet, Whitworth Street West, Manchester

4

Meal: All you can eat oriental buffet

Having sampled various “All You Can Eat” buffets, many of the oriental persuasion, I was wary off this place. Past experiences have taught me that the food is pretty average and fills you up incredibly quickly because of all the cornflower these types of places pour into the grub.

I can honestly say I was pleasantly surprised at the quality and variety that was available, I even tried TWO (count them TWO, unless its meat based I steer well clear) VEGETARIAN options because they looked so appealing and I thoroughly enjoyed them. They offered a wide variety of main meals and starters, which were well cooked and didn’t seem to have been sat there all morning. All the main meals on offer had massive amounts of meat and veg with the correct amount of sauce. Some AYCE places the dishes are swimming in the sauce and you need a fishing net, waders, and an underwater sonar to find the beef/chicken, but not this fine establishment.

The overall ambience of the place was a little 70′s seaside restaurant/fish bar for me with no atmosphere at all, although it was clean and tidy and the staff were pleasant, attentive and helpful.

Overall you cannot argue with the quantity and variety on offer and all the dished were more than edible, some even really pleasing. For £5.90 it’s a freakin’ steal and would definitely recommend it over other AYCE’s.

VN:F [1.9.13_1145]
Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
Go to Top