Posts tagged orange

£2 Meal Deal – Ploughmans sandwich, Feet & Bunion Walkers crisps + fresh orange

Desperately opting for economy over excellence I found myself succumbing to the towering, evil, earth-dominating behemoth that is the monster named Testico for my daily bread.  Looking merely to subsist for a few hours more until the day was done I beseeched the super-powered-market to deliver unto me worldly goods that could sate my ever-growing yearning for nutrition.  Well, barely nutrition to be honest, just something, anything, to beat the hunger from my belly.

So approaching the dubiously priced £2 Tesco meal deal with the appropriate amount of trepidation I opened my horribly familiar plastic triangle packet.  You might have already spotted my first error: cheese and onion crisps with cheese sandwiches?  Trust me, this is as bad in execution as it is in theory.

The Tesco Mind-Wombles emerged upon my first mouthful to discreetly remove all my memories of palette and taste and replace them with a meaningless sliver of mushy, vague recollections of food ingestion that can only be equated in some distant and weird way to the insipidness of the colour grey.

Apparently every 10 pence you spend in the UK goes into Tesco’s pockets already, so whether you want to submit to the blue and red gigantic fiend because “every little helps <you to lose your soul>”, or whether you desperately rage against the abyssal black hordes by purchasing your nourishment elsewhere, either way you, me, everybody, we’re all still little Tesco bitches.